absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
