its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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