There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
