Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
