uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
