My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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