i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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