Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
