She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
