hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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