I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
