How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
