I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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