so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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