just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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