he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
