How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
