btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
