You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
