trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
