I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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