I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
