I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
try to milk me bitch
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