i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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