If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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