I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Farmville is her only friend.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Randomize
