I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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