Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
