Your face is a jimmy john
It's Friday. Sex?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
