I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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