Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
BRING THE BAGELS
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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