So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
