"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?