Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
