Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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