how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
