she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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