I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
