so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
