i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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