Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
