Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
