I smell stomach acid.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
