sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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