UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
