My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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