its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
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