I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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