Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
