I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
