Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
