Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
