I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
