i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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