she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
